December 25 is fast approaching. The air is filled with the holiday’s breeze. Every houses are decorated with fabulous lights,christmas trees and lanterns. The street is very busy. Malls are overpopulated.

But in one corner of this world is ME, hoping that this time I will be having a merry christmas. But somehow I am still doubtful.Will God grants me what I am wishing for?

For the last two years I’d been spending christmas with a bleeding heart. For the man I very much adore prefered  to celebrate it with his children and live in partner. Although he claimed that I am the one he love, I was still very much in pain during those times.

Now, we are already married ( and yes now i am not certain if it was a right decision to marry him),will he celebrate the yule with us or will he stay with his other family? I know being the wife I have all the right. But that’s not the true scenario here. Despite the marriage I am still begging for his time, for him to stay and consider us as his family. I know it is unfair. But if I will insist what I want he will left us. I do not want my daughter to be fatherless. And I am very much inlove with him in inspite of his shortcommings.

I am afraid that history will be repeated. I am afraid to celebrate the birth of Jesus without him by our side. I hope this time I will be happy even in the very  short span of time.